"Heli reviews…American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, a book which genuinely made me wonder whether finding it so brilliant made me a serial killer. Right, first things first. I haven't seen the film. I know I should, and I'm planning on doing it, especially as it involves two of my favourite things-  1) Christian Bale 2) Christian Bale SHIRTLESS as well as a fuck load of dark, dark humour and just pure excellence in every pore of its film-tastic existence. I am going to watch it, but being one of those bastards who insists on reading the book before they watch the film (see: Clockwork Orange, Lolita etc etc), I had to read the book first, and read it I certainly did. The novel's anti-hero is the fabulously twisted Patrick Bateman (played by Christian Bale in the film, a man so chiselled it should probably be a crime. Let's praise the fucking heavens that it isn't), a normal man living his life in 1970s American banker and stock broker's paradise. Seems boring right? Oh yeah, he's a serial killer.  And he does not kill people by halves. Oh no no no, darlings, there are no half-hearted gun shots to the head, bang, done, dead, or swift throat-slittings a la Sweeney Todd. Fuck no, this is full on torture involving all kinds of horrendously gruesome instruments. Acid? check. Coat hangers? Unfortunately check. Axe? Hilariously check.  I won't lie, it was a hard book to get the hang of at first, especially as for the first few chapters I spent with an internal monologue of 'MATE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE MURDERS? WHAT'S THIS SHIT ABOUT BANKING AND CLUBS? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!', however no worries, that all changes. In fact, by the end I felt vaguely nauseous. Scratch that, extremely nauseous.  It's wonderful though, don't get me wrong. If you like reading (like me, and if you don't, you should leave, preferably ASAP) and like books which will make you think, read it. Go to your nearest Waterstones (incidentally, the man who works at my nearest one is absolutely wonderful at recommending books- I aspire to be him on life) and buy it. If you get strange looks from the cashier, fuck 'em, I spent 10 minutes during a sixth form interview trying to convince the English teacher I was talking to that I wasn't a psychopath after naming Clockwork Orange as one of my favourite books (read it, for the love of god, read that shit).  If you must, watch the film first, but seriously, I disapprove, and will consider writing a very strongly-worded email to you (because I really have that much fucking spare time on my hands) (actually I don't, I just truly am a mistress of procrastination.) I'll leave you with one of the most fabulously brilliant and wonderful quotes from the film as a little taster for the excellence ahead if you choose to partake in this journey- ""There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone; in fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."" love always, Heli xo"
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