"Instructions things you'll need:      * Yacht     * Guests     * TechCrunch     * Story     1.           * 1              Avoid inviting people who will talk about being on your yacht. Do they tweet? Do they have friends? These are some warning signs.           * 2              Invite TechCrunch writers. If they've been on your yacht, they may feel special and not write about it.           * 3              Don't invite TechCrunch writers. Once they see your yacht, they'll probably feel they should write about it. It's a yacht, after all.           * 4              Enable a cone of silence. If you don't have one, as they haven't been invented, tell visitors to your yacht that you're beta testing one from a new company called ""Cone"" that has received $40 million in investment. They might believe it and not talk about your yacht.           * 5              Have two yachts. That way, if someone does talk about your yacht, there will be confusion about which one.           * 6              Avoid actually owning the yacht. Surely you can establish a shell company that sails your yacht to exotic destinations like Moffett Filed for you?           * 7              Sink the yacht, so there's no proof it exists. Incorporate the sinking into a magic act, if possible.           * 8              Invite Arianna on your yacht.            * 9              Invite Tim on your yacht.           * 10              Offer to cut Mike's three year sentence to a year and a half.           * 11              Threaten that the TechCrunch writer will suffer mysteriously if they write about your yacht. If they ask for details, merely say ""Engadget"" and nod in a knowing manner."
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